Zeebhaffers
by Weird Not Boring
Summary: Someone’s attacking the Daily Prophet. Told from Luna Lovegood’s point of view. Luna saves the day, Colin listens to “Fun for Kids”. No ships. Oneshot


_Disclaimer: Even though I often display Luna-like tendacies, I do not own her. Darnit!_

_A/N: I have been working on this fic for a very very very long time. To see the whole story behind the story, visit my homepage. I've never written a Luna fic before, so I hope everyone likes it!_

_Summary: Someone's attacking the Daily Profit. Told from Luna Lovegood's point of view. Luna saves the day, Colin listens to "Fun for Kids". No ships._

**Zeebhaffers**

"Come on people! You can do better than this!" My boss, Rica Bonanza shouts as she walks between our cubicles. I have the immense pleasure of being situated in one in the very center.

And I don't have a window.

But that's okay, because I know that if I did have one, a Dingleheaded Reengerboble would most likely fly in and rearrange my desk. And I like my desk.

I begin to fiddle around carelessly with some of my stuff. It seems like some of it has gone missing again. Oh dear.

"Lovegood! Back to work!" My boss shouts at me. Again. I think that is the fifth time today.

She might want to have a healer check that out. She could be infected with the Fingleywinglegah virius, which causes people to yell for no reason at all. Yes, that's probably it. I'll call St. Mungos right now for her and let them know ...

"Lovegood!" I immediately face my desk again. My boss has eyes in the back of her head. While she's at St. Mungos, she should probably have those removed as well.

I stare blankly at the parchment, trying to think of something to write. My assignment is the dropping amount of pureblood students at Hogwarts, but it seems too boring. I think the public would much more like to hear about the Dingleheaded Reengerboble instead. That's way more important. But I like my job, so I set out to write the story I am supposed to, instead.

I began to write as my boss walked by my cubicle again. She's yelling something about Colin Creevey's music being too loud. I like it. Who cares if he listens to "Fun for Kids"?

I certainly don't.

And I doubt the Zeebhaffers do either.

As I lean over to check some research, everything suddenly goes black.

See? I told you there were Zeebhaffers around.

All around me, there are screams. I secretly poke my head out of my office, trying to see something, but, obviously, since the Zeebhaffers are attacking, I can't see anything. Not that it matters. I know the layout of the Daily Prophet like I know the back of my wand.

I take a few stumbling steps out into the hallway, and manage to run into at least two people, running in at least two different directions.

I don't know why everyone is screaming. The Zeebhaffers are harmless.

Well, so Father thinks. I've never seen one.

Actually, I don't think he has, either.

But Father's always right.

Really.

Oh! I didn't know that they did that! All around me, flashes of reds and greens and blues light up the darkness.

I'm hit by a hex, and I retaliate. Someone's trying to hex the Zeebhaffers! What did they ever do to anyone?

I manage to hit someone, (or, so I think, by the sound of a thud near me) and I move on, walking in the direction I hope is the door. I walk by Colin Creevey's office, (I know because his lovely music is still playing), and, in a flash of light, I see a Death Eater battling Colin.

Wait! Why are there Death Eaters here?

I know! They must've detected the Zeebhaffers and come to kidnap them, and, in doing so, knocked out the power and scared them away.

Fly free little Zeebhaffers! Fly!

That would explain why suddenly Colin Creevey's music has stopped.

Oh dear.

I keep stumbling along, firing off the hexes I learned so long ago in the Room of Requirement, and manage to make my way to the door.

Well, almost to the door.

There seems to be something blocking it. Something very big blocking it.

I wonder if it's the dreaded Weerget, infamous for stealing all the feathers from quills.

I must protect the feathers!

I quikly fire a jinx, and the guy falls.

Right on top of me.

Okay, so it's definitely not a Weerget.

Oh well. I still have a long life ahead of me. I'm sure I'll see one someday.

I could really use a luyhikker right now. He would be able to get this really heavy bloke off of me.

Unfortunately, no luyhikker appears to be coming, so I am forced to push the guy off of me on my own.

Pity. I've always wanted to see a luyhikker.

I push the guy off of me, and make my way over to the door.

Again.

Well, until I trip.

"GAH!"

I was almost on the floor, but I grabbed a hold in the wall and used it to catch my balance. Just my luck, the "hold in the wall" turns out to be the power switch! I flipped the switch during my impromptu fall, so the whole room is suddenly brightened with another color light.

The normal color. Heightened by the reds and greens and blues still flying about the room. But they are more accurate now that the power has turned back on.

Because we can all see again.

I really don't like what I see.

I guess the Zeebhaffers are more destructive than Father thought. The whole office is trashed, and there are people fighting everywhere. I don't know why anyone would want to destroy the Daily Prophet. That Rita Skeeter person doesn't work here anymore. I shrug my shoulders and begin firing hexes at the Death Eaters.

Just for the fun of it.

It seems like a couple minutes pass by, but I am having so much fun it's probably many more.

Another one falls and I silently cheer myself on. I wish Harry could see me now.

Oh wait! There he is! Storming in, he and the aurors quickly had the situation under control. Pity, I was having fun. The Death Eaters, sensing defeat, apparate away with loud "pops!".

Suddenly, I feel a strange sensation all over my body. It's pain. Strong, immense, almost unbearable pain. I hear one last "pop" of the last Death Eater before I feel my conscious slowly slip away from me. So this is what dying feels like. I've always wondered. After Mother . . . yes, well. I've always wondered.

Through my last blurry form of vision, I see Harry running over, sweat dripping from his brow. He seems to be saying something, but I'm afraid I can't hear him. I can't seem to hear anything.

It's like that one article in the Quibbler where that girl claimed to have survived death thanks to a ... something. I can't seem to remember what. She said that her body shut down first, then her brain went. I can tell my body's shutting down.

I felt Harry nudging me, trying to get me to open my eyes. "I can't, Harry!" I tried to say, but it didn't work. Nothing works.

I feel my brain deteriorating. Funny, it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

Father has always said the Zeebhaffers are harmless. I guess I'll never be able to tell him that they are.

* * *

DAILY PROPHET EMPLOYEE DIES DURING SURPRISE DEATH EATER INVASION

Luna Lovegood, 20 years old, died on Monday, October 14th during a regular work day. Death Eaters had stormed the Daily Prophet, injuring many and only killing one."It was scary," fellow writer, Colin Creevey says. "One moment we were working on our next edition, the next all the lights were out and we were fighting Death Eaters." "Luna was the one that turned on the lights," An anonymous source tells us, "She was the bravest of us all." Luna knew about being brave. One of Harry Potter's closest friends at Hogwarts, she had fought Death Eaters before. "She was a good friend," Harry Potter said to us. "A very very good friend." Luna was hit with a variation of the extinguishing spell that slowly extinguished the life out of her. She - _Continued on page A5_

* * *

_A/N: No, I don't know how Colin Creevey's music is able to play . . . or how there are light switches. Let's pretend that they are magically-powered and resemble the muggle electronics. D_

_This story honestly turned out different than I thought it would. When I started writing, it was only with one thought: I want Colin Creevey to be listening to "Fun for Kids". That's it. And . . . well, you see what it morphed into._

_There's a happier ending that I wrote, but decided not to use. It's a perfectly good ending, though, so I'm going to post it here:_

_The Death Eaters, sensing defeat, apparate away. As the last one "pops" away, Colin Crevey's music slowly came back on._

_And, to the strains of the "Hokey Pokey", I smile at Harry, then walk back into my office, smile still on my face._

_I knew that Zeebhaffers existed."_

_And now you can see why I chose the other one. ;-)_

_All reviews will be loved and then replied to. _


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